Someone Kicked Over A Big Bucket Up There……..

There are days sometimes when Brass Monkey Weather swaps with  Someone Kicked Over a Big Bucket Up There Weather.

And as I am writing, we are being  lambasted by really pissed off rain. The rain itself wouldn’t be so bad, but it has found a new dancing partner called Wind, code name Gale Force.

No mere umbrella survives this onslaught, the pavements are littered  with skeletons of cloth and metal. I am sad to say that my own umbrella, the one that I had boasted of being able to withstand anything, lost a brief fight tonight and nearly took my eye out in the process. And oh sweet joy, a bus full of passengers witnessed my vain battle to save it. Good thing they couldn’t hear what I was saying as I wasn’t pleading with the elements but  cussing up a storm of red poker hot words. A vicious gust ripped umbrella inside out, taking my breath from my body in a gasp of shock and plaited  the spokes together before my very eyes. It was like the storm was saying ” Yeah, that will teach you for even thinking that you can stand up to ME!” and I could have sworn that the wind laughed with hysterical glee. I gathered up the twisted remains of a brave comrade and dragged its battered carcass home , effing and blinding with disbelief as the tearing rain whipped into, on top of and around me. Made it to my front door and tried to open it but the wind kicked it open , spat me in and slammed goodbye. There is nothing more pitiful than a knackered umbrella, leaning in a corner, promising future glory but unable to deliver. Good thing I’ve got a large wheelie bin.

What happened to the April Showers of years gone by?  Rain drops keep falling on my head….no…more like… Come and get a kicking if you think you’re hard enough…

And the water shortage situation is still on!

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